Losing (blog) Steam

I’m making a point to make a final entry before the new year. I am proud of myself for sticking with it through my initial goal (I think).

I’m not sure why my motivation to write waxes and wanes as much as it does. But it does. Perhaps if I get to the point where I feel I “owe it” to someone paying attention to put something else down, the external motivation might keep me going.

That’s not to say I haven’t been busy. I’ve been picking up extra work when offered, figuring I never know when it will be around and I should take advantage when I can.

With that, I’m hoping we can have the house paid off early next year! Our mortgage payment isn’t problematic and there isn’t any true necessity to getting it paid off, but owing nothing to anyone, debt wise gives me quite a bit of pleasure. I’m one of those who really likes paying things off… Actually, I like watching my savings my add up more than paying things off, but the end product is the same and when I see the end in sight I push for it. And when it comes to your home and your ongoing stability, there’s sure something to be said for knowing that if all else fails, all you have to make is a property tax payment. It relieves so much pressure (again, not that I currently feel pressured) to know that if I lost a job it would be ok (for a while) or whatever. Or that when we save money toward the next project , it’s not at the expense of more loan interest.

Flip side is I’m always trying to save more. I feel like it’s never enough. I’m ok right now, but what about later years? What if I want to work less in the future? What about retirement? What if our house falls apart when I’m 60 and we need to rebuild? I want each year to bring me closer to knowing that the future will be comfortable, and that leaves me trying to strike a balance between enjoying life now, always aware that for any of us each day could be the last, and also planning for the future. So far I think we’ve done a pretty good job.

I’ve also decided that it’s time to focus in my physical fitness. The years steadily creep up as do the pounds… And the little bit of manual labor I get in during the summer disappears come rainy season. I’m not saying I’m doing great or have even noticed any improvement yet, but I’ve stuck with it for a week straight (no small task for me), and will continue to lurch along with the help of the free Blogilates youtube videos and workout calendar. ‘Cause the yoga class I went to in my little village “sometimes doesn’t even stand” through the whole class, and though relaxing isn’t what I needed to keep from contemplating a new wardrobe of pants.

So, I’m not really losing steam. There are definitely things going on, minor as they seem to me day to day, it sure seems like more when I write it down!

Maybe once I get a feel for where I should go with the writing topic and style wise and once this feels less like a diary (as I constantly wonder did I say too much?) I’ll pick up me steam again.

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